It was announced today that Dunnes Stores are to recall thousands of pairs of faulty boxer shorts. This is the result of a freak accident, which took place in Easkey a number of weeks ago? Only unofficial reports are available at present.

A press conference is scheduled for the end of the month at Dunnes Stores headquarters in Dublin. However, we have received information ahead of this meeting. The UUJ Canoe Club were on a weekend break in the west of Ireland. They arrived in the small town late on Friday night, the 26th of March. The club members including a young man from Monaghan, Jimmy Hurson decided to have a couple of quite drinks in the local pub. After a few hours later, they made their way back to the Hostel. They had planned a day of canoeing on the Easkey River the following day, so they headed straight for bed. As this was a hostel, all of the beds were in the same room.

The previously mentioned Mr. Hurson removed his clothes and placed them neatly under his bed. Then he grabbed his toothbrush and headed for the bathroom. As he walked a cross the crowded room, a strange noise was heard. Suddenly there was a flash of light as Jimmy's underwear exploded. With pieces of underwear everywhere, Jimmy fell to the floor in shock. Later that night he was rushed to Sligo hospital. Where had Micro-surgery to the lower regions of his body.

In the incident, Jimmy suffered some damage and is now in the process of suing Dunnes Stories for damages. It is believed the damages are in the region of £24.50 or a years subscription to Playboy.

AND THATS WHAT HAPPENED!!!!

Report by Dougal ..... Easkey 99

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